What's up people? Sorry I've been neglecting you as of late. I don't have any good reason for this, I've just been busy doing other shit. Other shit includes going to New York, Mass, and some other places. I didn't mean to take such a long time away from you all, but dayum, a nigga needs break every now and again. Forgive me for being so (lets see you spell this right) colloquial lately, but as I get more comfortable with the idea of writing my personal most inner thouhgts for a bunch of total strangers (and one special girl) my typing is beginning to be more laid back.

All I can say about eww, is that it was said at a very inappropriate time and it made me laugh like hell. Not that what I was doing was funny, it was very serious! And then, ewww. I believe there was some running after that. Yes, quite sure of it actually. I guess it was one of those things you have to be there for to appreciate.

You know what? There are no other things that made me laugh. I don't know what I was thinking when I made up that title. I have nothing else to say. Ewww, is really all I want to talk about, and I can't even talk about that. Why? Because this is public, and Ewww is really, really private. Just knowing about it is enough to mess up many people's lives, and I won't do that. Let's just say the shit was mad funny and leave it at that.

I'm a tortured soul. I wish I could be more open with you all, but at the moment I can't. I want to be, but it's not going to happen. At least not now. So just to fill in space, here's some things that I do find funny.

Fat people. Especially when they're doing weird shit like, eating donuts, or rollerskating, or drinking diet soda. And I love to see them at buffets. That shit cracks me up. If you don't think that shit is funny, fuck you, you're probably fat your damned self. And that's okay. This blog is only for you in the sense that you can read it. It's really therapy for me. I'm fat too! I just happen to find other fat mother fuckers funny to watch. I love it when I see a group of big girls together. There's always one girl that's not as big as the rest of the group. I hate that bitch. Her selfish ass is just trying to get all the men. Greedy bitch! I like the big girls. They usually treat you better. And you know what? The gut that you laugh at, could be hiding some good pussy! Holla! (omg)

There's other shit that makes me laugh, but that's all for now. I'm not really inspired to write anymore. I'll get back to you in a day or two. I need to have some more experiences before I can continue. I don't want to bring out the old shit yet. Anyhoo, Holla at your boy. Post messages! (this means you. you know who you are)

Profoundism: A man with no arms can point you in the right direction. His arms, or lack thereof, are just metaphores for your choices. If he has no arms, you have no choices. Just wait until you see a nigga with 10 arms!

I had planned on writing about how the single dad gets the shaft in CT. As I was putting down my thoughts, I got real depressed and was having a hard time. Then Ashley gets a phone call. (it's one in the morning yall) Now I'm pissed. I can't concentrate. Anything I write will have the stink of my attitude towards who I know she's talking to. So instead of boring you with a post that won't meet my usual standards (i have standards?), I'm going to pass on today's post. I apologize to all my peeps who have been reading this little bit of my life. (i wish you niggas would post comments and let me know who you are)

Hey, if anyone is feeling this shit, hit me on one of the messengers. I check them periodically. Peace.

Random quote of the day: Now all the money they gave her, I gotta give it back. Like I was the one living rent free and getting food stamps! - Lyfe Jennings

Why is everyone trying to keep it real? I keep hearing that phrase everywhere. I even hear it where it would seem to have no relevance at all. It's annoying. I would justify that last statement with a location, but I can't think of one at the moment.

Check it, keeping it real is outdated! It is my opinion (and since this is my blog, mine is the only one that matters) that it is a much better idea to keep it HONEST. Similar, but not the same. I'll give you an example:

If you don't like someone, and they know you don't like them, the fact that they know, would seem to mean that you're keeping it real. On the other hand, if you don't like someone, and you tell them to their face why you don't like them, that would be keeping it honest. Like I said, similar, but not the same.

Keeping it honest will keep you out of more shit than keeping it real. Keeping it real seems to do more with reputation and outward appearances. Dig it. I have a friend named Amanda. She just had a set of twins. She already knows better to ask me if the babies are cute or not. I don't believe in the beautiful baby theory. Not all babies are beautiful. Some of them are down right ugly. Most of them look like little old wrinkly men. Some of them are cute, but not a whole lot. Here's where the honest thing comes in. She knows how I feel about the deal. Now if there is any doubt in her mind whether her babies are ugly or not, she shouldn't ask me. If they are, I'm going to tell her. My babies are beautiful! Both of them. Don't get me wrong. They weren't always beautiful. On the real, junior had like 10 minutes when he was just hideous! He looked just like his damned mother. I was tempted to get him some surgery to rectify the situation. Luckily, he passed whatever stool was clogging up his plumbing and got that GOD-awful look off of his face. Longest 10 minutes of my life. For real.

I had meant to go in a different direction with this, but I'm going to sum it up as best as I can. You can't keep it real. Why? Because everyone has a different version of reality! MY reality isn't your reality, and vice versa. Ya dig? But honesty, that's different. Just tell the truth. No matter what you say, if you're telling the truth, no one can say shit. Just be able to back up and validate that shit.

Profound thought of the day: Honesty is like an ass kicking. If you ask for it, I have to give it to you. - Taylor Mali

Sha Clack Clack

i know you are but what am I?

infinity

if i could find the spot where truth echoes
i would stand there and whisper memories of my children's future
i would let their future dwell in my past
so that i might live a brighter now

now is the essence of my domain
but it contains all that was and will be
and i am as i was and will be
because i am and
always will be that nigga

i am that nigga

i am that timeless nigga
that swings on pendulums like vines
though mines of booby-trapped minds
that are enslaved by time
i am the life that supersedes lifetimes

i am

it was me with serpentine hair
that witha timeless stare
turned mortal fear into stone time capsules
they still exist as the walking dead
as i do: the original suffer-head
symbol of life
and matriarchy's severed head
medusa, i am

it was me the ecclesiastical one
that pointed out that nothing
was new under the sun
and through times of laughter and times of tears
saw that no time was real time
'cause all times were fear
the wise seer
Solomon, i am

it was me with tattered clothes
that made you scatter
as you shuffled past me on the street
yes, you shuffled past me on the street
as i stood there conversing with wind-blown spirits
and i fear it's your loss that you didn't stop and talk to me
i could have told you your past as i explained your present
but instead i'm the homeless schizophrenic
that you resent for being aimless
the intuned nameless,

i am
i am that nigga
i am that nigga
i am that nigga
i am a negro
negro from necro,
meaning death
i overcame it

so they named me after it
and i be spittin' at death from behind
and putting "kick me" signs on its' back
because i am not the son of
sha clack clack
i am before that
i am before
i am before before
before death is eternity
after death is eternity
there is no death there is only eternity
and i be riding on the wings of eternity
like: yah! yah!

sha clack clack

i exist like spit-fire
which you call the sun
and try to map out your future with sun-dails
but tic-toc-technology can no tic-toc me

i exist somewhere between tic and toc
dodging it like double-dutch
got me living double time
i was there before your time
my heart is made of the quartz crystals
that you be making clocks out of
and i be resurrection' every third
like: tic-tic-tic

sha clack clack

no i won't work a nine to five
because i am setting suns and orange moons
and my existence is this:
still
yet ever moving
and i am moving beyond time
because it binds me
it can set me free and
i'll fly when the clock strikes me
like: yah! yah!

sha clack clack

bvut my flight does not go undisturbed
because time makes dreams defer
and all of my time fears
are turning my days into day-mares
and i live day-mares
reliving nightmares
that once haunted my past

sha clack clack

time is beatin' my ass
and i be havin' dreams
of chocolate covered watermelons
filled with fried chicken like pinatas

with little pickaninny sons and daughters
standing up under them with
big sticks and aluminum foil,
hittin' them,
trying to catch pieces
of fallen fried chicken wings.
and aunt jemima and uncle ben
are standing in the corners
with rifles pointed at all of the heads
of the little children.

"don't shoot the children", i shout.
"don't shoot the children!"
But it's too late.
they've already been infected by time.
but this shit is before my time...
(i need more time! i need less time!)
...but it's too late.

they start shooting at the children
and killing them:
one by one
two by two
three by three
four by four
five by five
six by six
but my spirit is growing
seven by seven
faster than the speed of light
'cause light only penetrates the darkness
that's already there
and i am already there
i'm here at the end of the road
which is the beginning
of the road beyond time
but where my niggas at?
oh no
don't tell me
my niggas are lost in time
my niggas are lost in time

my niggas are dying before their time
my niggas are dying because of time.

Are you kidding me? That was and is some of the deepest shit I haveever heard in my life! Word to my dead gold-fish! I have nothing else to say! Nothing can be better than that. I'll write again when I've gotten over the enormity of the knowledge that was just dropped on you niggas out there. Dayum that shit was tight!

Profound thought of the moment: When I'm through giving you all my knowledge and my theory, I add a mother fucker so the ignant niggas hear me! - Lauryn Hill

I don't know why I'm starting this now. Ashley and Pam are currently having girl night in the living room. I know I should be leaving or have left already, but I haven't.

Today was a strange day. I finally found out that Michelle can't be trusted for shit. More on that later.

Hold on, I really can't start this now. I have way too many distractions in the way of Pam and Ashley. I'll be back tonight. Until then, later.

What the hell was I thinking? I stayed out until three thirty or so. It was mad fun. I'm not looking forward to the consequences when Ashley wakes up in the morning, but what the hell, you only live once. It's not even like I did anything. I went out to check a movie, decided not to. I went to the truck stop and had one of their famous strawberry big cakes. After that, I went to a friend's house and watched some Dave Chappelle. I had a great time. Somewhere in the midst of all this fun, I fell asleep. I knew I was falling, but I didn't care. I wasn't about to go home. Why? Because Ashley never does when she's out. Horrrible excuse, I know, but it's all I got. The fact that she was sort of blowing up my phone wasn't wasted on me either. I rather enjoyed that particular fact. Now she has an idea of how I feel some nights. I've gotten over her not answering her phone when I call, so I don't bother anymore. Let's see what she has to say.

I know I was going to talk about the Michelle thing, but I have to get in a few hours sack time. I haven't forgotten. I will holla back. I think this is going to be a good thing for me. I've got a lot going on that needs to be spoken on.

Anyhoo, I'm out for now. Hope you come back.

Profound thing heard today: Do blind people see their dreams? Or do they dream about seeing?