What is going on in the world of Blogstream? I'm being attacked! The women are ganging up on me and trying to poke holes in my posts. Although my ego may be inflated, I'm far from full of hot air. I'm like a good swiss cheese. The holes you poke in me don't take away from me. They merely serve to add to my distinction. Do you smell that? Oh that's me, I'm the shit! (holla)

I realized what I was doing wrong. I was looking too hard for inspiration. I don't really need to look around for something to write about. I have a gift. To some it may be an affliction. I have what is known as diarreah of the mouth. I open my lips and shit comes out. Luckily, I've learned to direct this to my fingertips and create the beauty that is what you're reading. (where does he get this shit from?)

Today was cool. I went to work several hours early. Well, that's not actually true. I went to the dispatch office too early to get my check. Let's keep this in perspective now. I would've been content just hanging around bullshitting with the dispatchers, but if you hang around too long you're bound to be asked to do something. Seeing as how I get paid to do what I do, that should be a good thing. But alas, I let my ego get the best of me. You see, as a courier, I am my own boss. I tell them when I'm available. I work when I want to work. I make my own hours. I love it. But if you're there in the office, they know you're not doing anything, and they feel compelled to offer you the work that they have coming in. I should have taken it, but I didn't. I had an agenda. There were things I wanted to do. They might not have been important to me or anyone else, but I wanted to do them. I ended up not doing anything that resembled being productive. I think I'm beginning to emulate uninspired girl's habits. I believe dispatch had it in for me. When I finally gave them the go ahead to give me work, there was none. I generally drive 100 or so miles a night. Today, I drove about 12. Such is life...

I should probably tell you a little about my job. I'm a courier. I deliver things to people and places. Most times I carry drugs (pharmecuticals, that is) and medical supplies. Other times I carry plane and aerospace parts. I try not to know what I'm carrying, because I get sticker-shock really easy. One night my road dawg looked at one of the invoices we were carrying and found out that one package was worth over 30 thousand dollars. I don't need to know this. I'm very comfortable not knowing this. All I need to know is the address to where I'm going.

As it goes, I love my job. I get paid to drive my car,listen to my music, and go places I might not go if I didn't have a particular reason to go there. All in all, it's a good gig. And the money is pretty good too. Enough about that. Now back to irreverant crap you know and love me for.

I hadn't meant to post anything today. I actually planned not to post anything. Why? For a few reasons. There's a crazy person trying to outblog me. My son is sleeping over. And last but not least, I thought I was going to get some booty tonight.

What do these things have to do with posting or not posting? Let me break it down for you. I wanted to let crazy blog girl get a good head of steam and then post something so incredible that she wouldn't be able to blog for several days. With my son being here, I wanted to spend some time with him. I love him to death, but he's getting to the age that sleeping with dad isn't what it used to be. And as for the booty, you know.... When it's done correctly, all you want to do is sleep. Or in my girlfriend's case, clean the house, do the laundry, hand wash the car, save an orphanage from burning, then sleep. (hell, just because I can't see it, doesn't mean I don't know how to work it!)

Anyhoo, the reason I am posting today is a very simple one. I got a comment from a new person. That might not do it for all of you out there, but it does it for me. I have deep personal feelings for my blog buddie Hetzie, but I almost expect her to have something to say. This new person was like a breath of fresh air. Fresh air with the pungent aroma of legalese. She actually used the word manifesto in her blog. I was scared! I tried to comment, but she isn't accepting comments at the moment. Well, if she/you decide to read this post; This title's for you!

Now on with business.

Lately I've been using this blog as my personal Post Office. My friend and I keep in touch through our posts. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not what I started this for. I really need this as an outlet. I have so many random things going on in my brain. I need someplace to air them. And if my thoughts should happen to help some half-assed law student make it through the day, I'm glad I could be there for them. I used the holidays as an excuse not to write. I don't know why. So many things happened over those few days, i could've written pages and pages of stuff. But I didn't. I couldn't seem to find an acceptable topic. I was experiencing some form of writer's block. Well I'm over it. And my first topic just came to me.

FEET.

I hate feet. I hate my feet. I have the most disgusting toes you have ever seen in life. My toes look like I make my living kicking rocks. Bare foot! The nails on my big toes are discolored and curve unnaturally under the toe itself. The nails on my baby toes are barely even there. I don't know why I'm afflicted to uglytoeitis, but I am. Did you ever see Boomerang? Remember the part where Eddie lifts the bedsheet to look at this girl's toes? I was her stunt double! I keep my toes hidden as much as possible. My worst fear in life is that I'll meet a woman with a foot fetish. If we're getting freaky, and she tries to make a move on my feet, I would have to kick her. That would be bad. If my big toenail connected with her head, she would no doubt die. And killing people is bad. Death by toejam. How sad?

Strangely enough, I'm currently involved with a person who has an unGODly amount of shoes. I swear this girl has more shoes than Imelda Marcos. I think if you combined these two people's shoe collection, you could outfit a small country with shoes. I hope they like pumps.

I can't continue on with this. Feet are so nasty, I can't even keep discussing them. Besides, it's four in the morning, and my sweetheart isn't home yet. I have to prepare to cuss her out. It's really cool how it happens. She comes into bed. I call her a bitch. She rolls over. I hold her. Fight over. She may come home late, but at least she comes home. I sometimes wonder if she's cheating on me. I don't see how she has the strength. After saving the orphanage and all....

Sorry, I gave in... I told you to come over... Oh well. Any women suffering from L.O.D. Hit me up @ any of my messengers. I'm looking for new buddies. We can talk about whatever. Even if you don't suffer from L.O.D. hit me. Here's the addy's.

MSN mikeoxlongue@hotmail.com
AIM mikeoxlongue2@aol.com
Yahoo! mikeoxlongue@yahoo.com

Peace. Outblog me? Is she crazy?!?

My penis is definately getting smaller! It disturbs me how small it is. At times I can't even see it. Notwithstanding the fact that I'm a fat ass, and can't see my dick if I'm standing up... That doesn't bother me. I know I'm fat. I can deal with that. But I used to be able to see it a few times a day. Sometimes I wake up and rub one out. It's my morning ritual. I call it 'wake and shake'. I used to see it then. Not any more. Blame this on the belly. If it was hard, and I had to piss, then I would be able to see it. Again, the belly is to blame. But it's gotten worse. Now the new thing is to hide like a fucking turtle! I literally shrinks back in upon itself. It looks like I have two fucking belly buttons! What the fuck? I've got to lose weight. It's starting to mess with my sex life. I love getting head. I almost love it more than sex. There is nothing better than looking down and seeing your dick in a girls mouth. I like to hold their hair back for them so it doesn't get in their way. This serves a dual purpose. It helps them, and I get a better view of them sucking it. I love that shit. The only thing better than getting head is shooting a nut down a girl's throat. I'm hoping to do this soon. Hint, hint, wink, wink. And I'm that nasty bastard too. Most guys won't let you kiss them after you swallow their load. I'm not that guy! Bring it. I'll kiss you. It's my shit! And I guarantee, when I went down on you, when I came up, the first thing I did was kiss you wasn't it? Hell yeah it was. So turnabout is fair play. I'm all about it. Anyhoo.... I've been doing sit ups to try and get this belly down. Someone told me that when I lose some weight my dick will get bigger becaucse the bloodflow will increase. Cool. My shit used to be huge. Not really long, but it's got girth. I may not hit the bottom, but i'll fill you up! Oh well. It's almost 5:30 in the morning, I've got to turn in now. I'd like to see you later, with my dick in your mouth. Haha.... I'm just serious!

Love is a many splendered thing. In a way, love is hard to define, because it's full of so many intangible things. It's like a cornocopia of feelings. There's friendship, trust, honor, respect, admiration... the list goes on. But if you feel that you have a few, or some of these things, you probably have love. It might not be that all consuming love. That type shit that you get in High School. You know, I love (insert name here)all over your books and shit. But it is what it is.

Two people can have a very profound relationship without experiencing love. Maybe they enjoy the time they spend together doing whatever it is they do. Love doesn't have to come into it for both or either of them. The stolen moments that they share could be very meaningful to them. So meaningful that they don't want to give them up. Especially if they don't happen as often as one of them may wish. This type of relationship can be beneficial for both parties provided they keep their head in the game.

Let's say one is in a long term relationship already. Instead of looking at this as a bad thing, look at it like this. You have infinite freedom. You can 'cum' and go as you please. Don't NOT look for someone for yourself. By all means, if that person comes around, get him. Don't lose an opportunity to have what another person has to offer waiting for something that may not happen. Things do fall apart, but if it looks like it's gotten better, that's your cue to re-evaluate your situation.

Does it look like the person you're with wants to continue with what you've got? Do they call you more or less often? Do they still have uncontrollable urges to touch and feel? Are they always trying to get you to do the nasty? If you sense no negative change in what you've got with this person, they're still totally into you. But (there's always a but), don't settle. As long as you're getting what you want out of the relationship, keep it up. If that should change for any reason, then feel free to bail. It's your right. In other words: If you're in this for dick, and the dick is good, keep fucking. If you want MORE than dick, and you see no signs of his current relationship slowing down, it may be time to set your sights on someone else.

These shouldn't be hard choices to make. I'm assuming you went into this with a clear head, and understood what you were getting into. If that's the case, rock on. If you are confused about anything, get some clarification before you move any further. Dig it: How can he be mad at you for getting a boyfriend if he already has someone? That would be hella stupid on his part. He doesn't even have the right to be jealous. You're in control. Even when you do get someone, if you want to continue what you have with this person, just ask. He'll probably be more agreeable than you think. Why would he give up good pussy? It'll probably help things more than hinder. It couldn't be bad for his woman to see you with another man... Holla! But don't jump the gun. If you're not looking, you don't have to. Just be aware that there may be someone out there looking for you.

Anyway, to wrap this all up, don't get all caught up in the love aspect of what you're doing. If it feels good, keep on keepin' on. I can tell you from personal experience, it don't mean a thing if you ain't got no ring. He's not married. You're not breaking any of GOD's rules. If his personal morality can stand what he's doing, why should you stop? As long as the dick is good to you, keep fucking it! Until then, YOU THINK TOO MUCH!

I'm out this bitch!

As you can see, I heard a rumor that I was getting my ass kicked in the whole blog writing thing. I wasn't aware that it was a competition. Now that I know this, my competitive spirt has been invoked, and now i must crush my competition.

Being that this is a new year, I have new goals in my writing. I don't like to make resolutions. Why? Because noone seems to keep them for very long. I really don't like not finishing things that I start, so I figure not making resolutions is probably a good idea. Being that as it is, my goals are easily attainable, and are as follows.

I will try to write more often.
I will try not to let more than two days go by without writing.
I will be more honest in my writing.

That's it.

Last year was cool. I finally mananged to get out of my dead end job. I now work for myself. I feel pretty good about this. I've made some pretty good money already. I'm trying to get my sweetheart into the business. She works where I used to. She sees the money I bring home. Hopefully she'll come over.

I've got to be more assertive when it comes to Shane Jr. I may end up taking his mother back to court. Hell, she may have already gotten the paperwork started. The only bad thing about this new job is that my child support isn't taken out automatically. I've got to get the address for child support enforcement and make arrangements to pay. I don't mind paying. I love my children. I just don't like actually writing out the check. I prefer it to be taken out for me.

Anyhoo. This year is going to be different. Look for the writing to be more interesting. I'll see you soon.