What's up friends? I've been away for a while. Once again, I have no reason for this. It's not like I don't have anything to say, I just have no motivation. Until now. I checked in to see if anyone had missed me, or had anything to say. To my suprise, someone did. Hetzie, you're the man! I also have inspiration from another source. (the name escapes me at the moment, but you're Canadian) Strangely enough, these two people who have never met had the exact same thing to say. They loved my honesty. I have to applaud that. I do try to keep it honest. And you two people have inspired me to get back in the game. Thanks.

Hey everybody. Yes, I've been away for a while. I appear to have lost my focus somewhere. My blogs were killing me. I would rather be doing something else other than write, so I know the content wasn't worth reading. I hate it when I get that way.

 If you hadn't noticed, I had to remove two of my posts. They were intentionally hurtful and therefore inappropriate. I know, I know, I'm always talking that shit about this is my blog, I'll write what I want... But I guess I still have to show some responsibilty and maturity.
I don't know how many other people read this shit. It could be many, could be a few. But if they're reading my shit, dayum, these people need some help. Or a role model. (how about a jello pudding pop)
I write some off the wall shit. But that's me. I'm no columnist. I don't give advice. I'm a conceited, self serving, egotistical bastard. I write this shit for me. If i offend you, good! I didn't ask you to read this. You came to me. Remember that. I'm changing the name of the blog. It's going to be a bit more focused. For those whose opinions matter to me, you'll be given the new name. But give me about two weeks. I'm going to clear my head and get my thoughts together.

What's the big deal with all these prude people? It amazes me that in 2005, Amerikkka is still the least tolerant of the nekked body. (let's exclude those backwards ass places like Iran, and Iraq) For years Europe has led the way for open nudity. Do you believe they have nekked women's soccer over there? I shit you not. They even have regular television with nekked soaps and shit. And it's no big deal. How can we be considered the most free country in the world if we can't even see some pussy while we have dinner?

Has anyone ever sat down and thought that that's why our children are having children so early? Why? Because we hide sex from them. Sure, youve got Pay Per View and all that, but it's not enough. We should have Dr. Ruth's crazy over sexed ass on cable preaching her particular brand of shit. She's the reason I masturbate today! Not that she's anything good to look at, but she said it was okay to do. IF you want to do the knuckle shuffle, do it! And I do! Alot. Maybe a bit excessively. But who cares? It's mine and I'll wash it as fast as I want!

But for real, if you hide something from kids, it makes it more exciting. People always want to explore the taboo. And when you hide it, it makes it more interesting. Next thing you know, Sally is getting pregnant because you never told her about sex or the dangers of. (she could have had anal)

I may make light of the subject, but it's some serious shit! Walk around nekked in front of your kids. It'll help them not to turn out like Autumn. She saw me type the word dick and hid her face in the blankets. It's not like I showed her one, I just wrote about it. Dick is good. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace the dick! Hold it in your hand. Hell, if you have the time, suck on it! (paid for by the men who can't get head foundation)

Dig this. If you've been following this blog lately, you might remember me introducing Heather. She used to be one of the worst people in the world when it came to nudity. She used to sleep fully dressed. It was the weirdest shit! But when she was getting some dick, she didn't care anymore. You could walk all up in the room and she would still be all 'freee Willy' and shit. Boobs just hanging out, ass protruding from the covers. She didn't care. But after the sex, she would clam up again. That told me that she had some freak in her. She just didn't know how to let it out. Here's where I come in. I hate wearing clothes. I love socks, but not clothes. I insist on walking around the house ass nekked. It's my shit! I don't care if it's small, it's mine and I want to air it out. If you don't want to see it, don't look bitch. From being around me for about 2 years, Heather has started to come out of her shell. She's not quite where I'm at but she's getting better. She no longer does the 50 yard dash to her bedroom after her shower. If she forgets her towel (more often than not) she just kinda of saunters down the hall and shakes her ass a little. That's just in case I was looking. She likes to let me know that I'll never hit it! We're friends she says... Well dammit, I don't want to be friends anymore. I want to hit it. Hell I want to beat it up. But that would ruin our relationship. Why? Because she would fall in love with the dick, and have to have it all the time, thus becoming a nuisance. After that I would have to give it to her one more time really good, and then never give it to her again. And that would be bad. No one should be denied access to the 2 inches of fury that is my penis. Don't laugh. I work what I got!

I got off topic somewhere.... I don't care. This is my shit! If that's how my brain processed whatever it had to say, that's what happened. This ain't the news where I have to follow a certain format. Dammit, just like Chaka Kahn, it's my thing! I'm out this bitch!

Autumn has on pink panties and won't let me see them!

I think I may not be reaching as many people as I could be. It took me a while, but I just noticed that there's different categories to which I could be blogging. I thought general discussion was cool because I just generally discuss shit. But I could be shortchanging myself. Maybe I should be in Adult, or Crazy Bastards. Would I reach more people like myself? So far, I've only met one person through this whole blog thing. I just finished listening to her show (your visuals are even better when heard). I also asked her if I could be one of her messenger buddies. Please say yes. I don't want to blow up her spot, so I haven't mentioned her name, but that goes against my code. Schree, you're the bomb!

I started this about 3 hours ago. Ashley kicked me off the computer so she could burn some CD's for her flight to Wisconsin. But since all this time has past, I've once again lost the rhythm of my initial thought. Why does this keep happening to me? So to fill in some space, I've decided to propose some questions that have been bothering me. You may have seen some of these in other places. I'm not trying to take credit for the intellectual property of another individual, so if the original thought was yours, don't trip. Applaud yourself for me remembering your shit.

If the bionic man could run so fast, why did he always run in slow motion?

Noticing how blacks excell in most organized games, why don't we make government a sport?

Why aren't there any positive female role models in hood movies?

Why do pimps dress like that?

Why couldn't Michael Jackson grab my balls? I wouldn't say anything! Holla!

Why aren't Michael Jackson and LaToya Jackson ever in the same place at the same time? Is Mike collecting two checks?

Dayum. I jost woke up again. I'm out. More next time.

I used to say that only a man who has no more words swears. Fuck that. I swear because I like to! I really enjoy putting coarse words in a sentence that really has no point being there. Why you may ask? (go ahead, ask why) Because it makes me laugh. But it really makes me laugh when I'm with Autumn.

Autumn is a special friend of mine. (she won't let me hit it) I used to work with her mom when she was just a wee child. Now she's 17. Of course she's gone through the ususal changes a person goes through between the ages of 3 and 17. (she's got boobs) But that's not the special part. It's her 'innocence' that makes her special. She's not like Rainman or anything, she's aware of what goes on around her, but when it pertains to SEX or sexual things, she's socially retarded. (sexually intellectually deficient) That's where the fun starts.

Autumn used to work with me. Some homo-thug (Dan) got her fired. We can't prove it, but we all suspect it has something to do with the fact that she dated him for like 3 minutes. Either it only took 3 minutes and she hated it, or she saw through his thinly disguised attempts at trying to get the butt. Anyhoo... one of my favorite things in life is to make Autumn blush. She has this natural reaction to cover her face when she hears or sees something controversial. It's crazy. You can tell it's not just put on. She's actually shocked by some of the things that come out of my mouth. (vaginal blood fart was a good one) So what I do is this: We'll be riding down the street in the HOO-Ride, and I'll just randomly say I wish one of her friends would hiccough (pronounce hic cup) a dick up until ya sick up. Were she driving, I suppose she would probably drive straight off the road or into oncoming traffic. (that's why I do the driving) So I composed a game of sorts. I try to see how much of the ride I can make her miss. I'll just keep saying nasty shit until I get to where ever we're going. I've succeeded in making her lose about 3 miles so far. (you must try harder!) This may not seem like fun to you, but it's loads of fun for me. Especially when her momma gets involved. She's trying to make sure that doesn't happen too much. (I guess there's something weird about hearing your mom talk about sucking dick and other such things) Love you Debbie!

Oh well, I'm out for now. It's easier to write small entries, so I'll try to keep to that. I've got to rub one out before I go to the mall, so I'm done for now. (Autumn is reading this, I'm not actually going to do that (or am I?))