We've all heard it before: Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. They seem to forget to add a part that I like to add. That part is: And they usually stink!

I'm about sick and fucking tired of everyone and their opinion. It's not even that they have one, it's just that they seem to want to share it! Especially when it's not asked for or wanted. I don't usually like to insert my opinion on something unless it's expressly asked for. Why? Because my opinions can be very inflammatory. I'm a very upfront brother. Most times I don't even give an opinion then. I usually give them the truth. Not that people handle the truth any better than opinion, but at least there's less they can say about it. It's like the difference between a woman with a fat ass, and a fat assed woman. Because the ass is such a subjective topic, it's hard to agree on whether it's fat or not. But a fat assed woman, no problem. Does J-Lo have a fat ass? Maybe, maybe not. Depends on the person looking. Is Oprah or Rosanne a fat assed woman? Hell yes! Hands down, no discussion needed.

The thing is this. If you have a friend, and they come to you with some shit, don't give your opinion on what the situation is. More often than not, they don't want it. What they're really looking for is for you to be there for them. (there's a lot of fors in that last sentence) The last thing someone wants when they're sharing is some negative shit. Be supportive if you can. They're not asking for your acceptance. Hell, my boys do a lot of shit I don't agree with, but I support that decision. I've got their backs? Why? Because that's what your boys do. And that's what you do for your boys. Now when shit goes south, that's when you let them know how fucked up you thought it was. They'll usually ask you why you didn't do anything about it. Hit them with this: When you love that bitch/nigga you was with, I love that bitch/nigga too. When you no longer love that person, I never liked her! Just be polite, and respectful when that person is around. A good friend plays the part of the jock strap or the sports bra. We support that motherfucker! Think about it.

Profoundism: No one knows where the nose goes after the doors close, so take off your pantyhose! - Big Daddy Kane

It's been called a lot of things by a lot of people: Momo, Brain,Dome, Knowledge, to name a few. I prefer to just call it head. For years it was called a blowjob, but that was decieving. There are guys out there (myself included) who have been the victim of their girl actually trying to blow into... for lack of any other word, the dick. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to punch the girl in the back of the head! (don't laugh, that shit hurt) Now I know some of my female readers might wonder what is so big about giving a man head. What's so big about it? Are you kidding me? That's like asking what's so big about missing your period! Oh, you see shit in a different light now right? I should hope so. And it's even more serious when the subject of reciprocation is involved! (thanks Pookie) If you want your man to hook you up, dammit, you better be prepared to smoke the pole, slob the knob, or whatever it is that your slob of a man calls it. (if your priest asks you to drink from his chalice, run like hell)

Now I know there may be a lot of you girls out there that have never done the deed before. I don't care what you have to do to get it in your (dare I say head) that it must be done. There are ways to practice this: I'm not going to mention them here because it occurs to me that I may be percieved as gay. I'm not gay. (a lot of guys cry at movies) Talk to your girlfriends that have done it (or your sister), they'll hook you up. Believe me, it doesn't take all that much to make a man happy. Hell, some of us would rather get head than get the butt. I'm not that guy. But those men are out there.

Sidebar to the fellas: If your girl does give you head, and it's alright, but it suddenly gets better... She's sucking the next nigga dick! "so don't let my girl suck your dick, even if she's sucking the next nigga dick! oh shit" - ONYX - the next nigga

(quiet, you're destroying my t.o.t!)

Head is important! When I run for president, it will be on the world peace ballot. This is how I propose to bring peace to the world. Everyday at 2:00, every man on the planet, no matter who or where he is, should get his dick sucked. Shit will stop everywhere! Fuck making laws, bombs, cars, pizza.... everything stops. Women will know the deal, and get on their knees and start sucking the first dick presented to them. If men know they're going to get head, who the fuck can think about war and shit? Crime will end. Rape? Not anymore! You don't have to take pussy, you're getting head in a few hours! (wassup?)

Now men, do your part. Balls stink! If you expect a woman to put your dick in her mouth, wash your stinkin' assed balls! Between sweating and hanging out mere inches from your asshole, these motherfuckers can have some serious odor problems! Don't think that washing them up in the sink right before you get some will help. It won't. And women, tell your man if his nuts stink. That's not being mean, that's love! If your man wants his dick in your mouth, he will wash and keep his shit clean. But cut him some slack. We don't always know when we'll be getting head. If you go down there and smell something a little randy, give us the chance to do something about it.

Now about that reciprocation thing: Pussy smells too! Especially hairy pussy. If you want head women, trim your shit. Not just the bikini area, all that shit! Most men like well manicured pussy. I personally like the naked camel toe. But that's because I love to eat pussy. I like to consider myself good at it. I'll eat the whole pussy and just leave the fuckin box. I eat pussy like it's my last meal! (holla) Don't go into like it's a bad thing. Open your mind and your legs will follow. When your leg starts shaking uncontrollably, that's a good thing. Go with it. When your world starts to feel like it's falling in on itself and every part of your body is singing it's own song, go with it. You are about to cum. And if you let it, you will cum hard! This man is a keeper! Do not let him go. Keep his number on speed dial nigga. All you have to do be willing to put his little penis in your mouth and suck it.

Oh, before I forget... Don't do it unless you intend to go through with it. After you've been sucking for a while, your man will want to cum. This is not the time to be discussing where the cum is going to go. Know before hand if you're going to spit or swallow. Just know this. Swallowing is preferred! Don't get caught in this situation: What do you mean take you out to eat? You already said you don't swallow! (ya dig) It may taste a little odd, but you'll get used to it.

That's enough. Think about it. Head is good. But sometimes, you have to give to recieve!

Profoundism: I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly! = Spongebob Squarepants

What's up people? Sorry I've been neglecting you as of late. I don't have any good reason for this, I've just been busy doing other shit. Other shit includes going to New York, Mass, and some other places. I didn't mean to take such a long time away from you all, but dayum, a nigga needs break every now and again. Forgive me for being so (lets see you spell this right) colloquial lately, but as I get more comfortable with the idea of writing my personal most inner thouhgts for a bunch of total strangers (and one special girl) my typing is beginning to be more laid back.

All I can say about eww, is that it was said at a very inappropriate time and it made me laugh like hell. Not that what I was doing was funny, it was very serious! And then, ewww. I believe there was some running after that. Yes, quite sure of it actually. I guess it was one of those things you have to be there for to appreciate.

You know what? There are no other things that made me laugh. I don't know what I was thinking when I made up that title. I have nothing else to say. Ewww, is really all I want to talk about, and I can't even talk about that. Why? Because this is public, and Ewww is really, really private. Just knowing about it is enough to mess up many people's lives, and I won't do that. Let's just say the shit was mad funny and leave it at that.

I'm a tortured soul. I wish I could be more open with you all, but at the moment I can't. I want to be, but it's not going to happen. At least not now. So just to fill in space, here's some things that I do find funny.

Fat people. Especially when they're doing weird shit like, eating donuts, or rollerskating, or drinking diet soda. And I love to see them at buffets. That shit cracks me up. If you don't think that shit is funny, fuck you, you're probably fat your damned self. And that's okay. This blog is only for you in the sense that you can read it. It's really therapy for me. I'm fat too! I just happen to find other fat mother fuckers funny to watch. I love it when I see a group of big girls together. There's always one girl that's not as big as the rest of the group. I hate that bitch. Her selfish ass is just trying to get all the men. Greedy bitch! I like the big girls. They usually treat you better. And you know what? The gut that you laugh at, could be hiding some good pussy! Holla! (omg)

There's other shit that makes me laugh, but that's all for now. I'm not really inspired to write anymore. I'll get back to you in a day or two. I need to have some more experiences before I can continue. I don't want to bring out the old shit yet. Anyhoo, Holla at your boy. Post messages! (this means you. you know who you are)

Profoundism: A man with no arms can point you in the right direction. His arms, or lack thereof, are just metaphores for your choices. If he has no arms, you have no choices. Just wait until you see a nigga with 10 arms!

I had planned on writing about how the single dad gets the shaft in CT. As I was putting down my thoughts, I got real depressed and was having a hard time. Then Ashley gets a phone call. (it's one in the morning yall) Now I'm pissed. I can't concentrate. Anything I write will have the stink of my attitude towards who I know she's talking to. So instead of boring you with a post that won't meet my usual standards (i have standards?), I'm going to pass on today's post. I apologize to all my peeps who have been reading this little bit of my life. (i wish you niggas would post comments and let me know who you are)

Hey, if anyone is feeling this shit, hit me on one of the messengers. I check them periodically. Peace.

Random quote of the day: Now all the money they gave her, I gotta give it back. Like I was the one living rent free and getting food stamps! - Lyfe Jennings

Why is everyone trying to keep it real? I keep hearing that phrase everywhere. I even hear it where it would seem to have no relevance at all. It's annoying. I would justify that last statement with a location, but I can't think of one at the moment.

Check it, keeping it real is outdated! It is my opinion (and since this is my blog, mine is the only one that matters) that it is a much better idea to keep it HONEST. Similar, but not the same. I'll give you an example:

If you don't like someone, and they know you don't like them, the fact that they know, would seem to mean that you're keeping it real. On the other hand, if you don't like someone, and you tell them to their face why you don't like them, that would be keeping it honest. Like I said, similar, but not the same.

Keeping it honest will keep you out of more shit than keeping it real. Keeping it real seems to do more with reputation and outward appearances. Dig it. I have a friend named Amanda. She just had a set of twins. She already knows better to ask me if the babies are cute or not. I don't believe in the beautiful baby theory. Not all babies are beautiful. Some of them are down right ugly. Most of them look like little old wrinkly men. Some of them are cute, but not a whole lot. Here's where the honest thing comes in. She knows how I feel about the deal. Now if there is any doubt in her mind whether her babies are ugly or not, she shouldn't ask me. If they are, I'm going to tell her. My babies are beautiful! Both of them. Don't get me wrong. They weren't always beautiful. On the real, junior had like 10 minutes when he was just hideous! He looked just like his damned mother. I was tempted to get him some surgery to rectify the situation. Luckily, he passed whatever stool was clogging up his plumbing and got that GOD-awful look off of his face. Longest 10 minutes of my life. For real.

I had meant to go in a different direction with this, but I'm going to sum it up as best as I can. You can't keep it real. Why? Because everyone has a different version of reality! MY reality isn't your reality, and vice versa. Ya dig? But honesty, that's different. Just tell the truth. No matter what you say, if you're telling the truth, no one can say shit. Just be able to back up and validate that shit.

Profound thought of the day: Honesty is like an ass kicking. If you ask for it, I have to give it to you. - Taylor Mali